So Real

I just had the realest dream of my life. Everything that happen, it seemed so real, so solid. this is the first time I had this kind of dream.

It was a normal evening, where I was jogging in a garden. When I jogged to a gym like stadium, I entered. It was a normal gymnastic stadium, very spacious, very wide, but the ceiling is a bit low. When I entered, there is an old man, with a young little girl, a baby girl. They are playing in a trampoline. Both of them were playing very happily, with the little baby girl bouncing up and down on the trampoline. Everything seems so calm and joyful.

Then suddenly, the baby girl started to bounce higher and higher. At that time, I was standing a few meters away from them, watching them play with a smile on my face. It happen so fast, the baby girl all of  sudden was bounced high up in the air. Before I realise what was happening, the baby girl drop down, and once again bounced back to the air. But this time, the angle is wrong, and it was too high, she hit the ceiling of the stadium, and falling down at an alarming speed towards the solid cemented floor. Without second thought I sped towards her. When the baby girl nearly hits the ground, I flung myself towards her, hoping to catch her before she hits the ground. I was too late, the baby girl was just an inch away, so close to my finger tips, but I missed her. With a loud thud, she hit the floor, I only manage to catch her when she rebound from the floor, but everything is too late.

At first, she seems okay. Then, she started to cry. I hold her up with both of my hands, I can feel that her head is swelling from behind, very warm from touch. Immediately, I ran towards the door, and ran towards the direction of the hospital. I saw the hospital is not far from the place I am, so I just ran and ran. The hospital seems to be further than I expected. With all my might, I speed towards the hospital, before I reach the hospital, my legs started to give away. I can feel my leg wobbling, as though my leg had turned into jelly. But I continue to ran, I don't care if there is any car on the road. All I know is to reach the hospital in the shortest time possible. Finally I reached the hospital. I take a look at the baby once more, I saw her face is smiling at me, her smile so radiating, like a sunshine, the sunshine that shine through me, it's like coursing for me the energy to move on. Along the way to the emergency department, the people seems to come from no where, I pushed and shoved, half running all the way, in the meantime shouting for a doctor. It seems like an eternity finding a doctor.

When I finally found  doctor, I look at the baby, but everything was too late. Her radiating smile on her face has faded away, her body turned icy cold. My hands were shaking, I felt like the world has just crushed on me, I dropped kneeling on the ground. Tears uncontrollably streamed across my cheeks, I screamed at the doctor to save her, but he just shake his head and doing nothing, telling me it's over.

I cuddled her on my chest, I screamed. I screamed for the pain, the anger, the despair that I felt in my heart. I feels like a thousand knife just sliced through my heart, the pain was just unbearable. I knew that I went mad next. The memory is blur, but I manage to catch some picture of the scene. I remember someone was pulling me, and another guy gently took the baby away. I was like a man who just lost everything, the kind of helplessness that  no man can bear. I was sent to a room, in there, I screamed out loud, I punched the bed, I dropped to the ground like a pile of sheet, I cant move my body. As I sucked in a deep breath, I woke up. I found that I was crying. This is the first time a dream can be so real, so solid, like I just went through it myself.

I sat on my bed for a few minutes, and I'm happy that it's just a dream. So I just switched on my laptop, and write the whole story down, before I forget about it. It's the dream I never had before, so real and solid.

One Down, Four To Go.

Time wait for no man. Everyday, everything is on the move, nothing will stop or even pause when you idle around. Watching time pass by, sometimes you dread the coming day, sometimes you can't help but hope that the day will be longer, nevertheless, it will still come. By the time it's over, when you recall back, one down, more to go.

Two days ago, when I tuned up to the radio, I listened to the memoir of Micheal Jackson. It's been a year then, Micheal Jackson went to the other realm. It seems like a blink to all that happened the whole year before. As though I was sitting in a car, the view just passed by the window in a flash. I went through the high, the low and I felt that I grown up a little more. Already entering the second decade of my life, I can feel that things changes along the way. Just a few weeks before, I received a news that my friend is getting married. It's like... Wow... I only realise that we are that age already. Either way, I still feels like it's not yet the time for me to do this. Come on, I cant even support myself, how am i suppose to take care of my other half? Moreover if a little guy is born? Whoa... All hell break lose... 

It has been 3 weeks since I came back to the land of Hornbills. During the one week holiday before, it's the best week I had in a long time. All my friends, family I missed. I had a great time hanging out with them. Before the holiday, I have a crazy idea that I want to study during the holiday. By the time I reach my house, I think: "To hell the books. I won't give a damn about it." As a result, the only book I took back, stayed in the bag the whole week, no chance to see the light. Ha! 

Frankly, high school friends are still the best friend around. Even though it's a long time we haven't meet each other, by the time we met, we were like back to the good old days. Everyone walks a different path now... Within 2 months, all of us will be separated all over the world. JPA scholars will be flying overseas, while the others are distributed throughout the universities in the country. I think meeting once a year would not be easy any more. Anyway, I wish everyone good luck in whatever path you have chosen. I hope that our friendship will last till the day we go into the void. Bon voyage to my friends who are going overseas. 

I'm grateful that I finish my first year without much problem in studies, but the real challenge only starts now. I really hope that I can endure all this and went through it smoothly. I guess I'll just need to strive hard, much harder I think. God bless me~